Check Out Ways That Men Unknowingly Ruin Thier Marriage Every Dag On Day!

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Ever since I was a little girl I fantasized about getting married. I used to spend countless hours rocking out to The New Kids On The Block while thumbing through magazines picking out my dream wedding dress. I even wrote down all of the names of my entire wedding party (of course they were all of my best friends at the time). I also jotted down the names of a few guys that I thought were hot and hoped to marry one day. In my head I thought that marriages were perfect. In reality, however, marriage is not always perfect. Instead marriage is a work (like any masterpiece) that requires plenty of sweat and tears.

Not only is marriage not perfect, but men totally perceive things differently from women. Sometimes I think that they may even come from another dimension. Some  women may even  be miserable in their  marriage, but if you ask their husbands they will say everything is great!

Here are some ways that men unknowingly ruin their marriage.

  • Watching too much TV
  • Cuddling to the cell phone while in bed at night and not with their wife
  • Not helping with children
  • Lack of helping with daily duties
  • Failing to clean up after himself
  • Wondering eyes for other women
  • Not bringing home flowers or a special gift periodically
  • Absence of affection
  • Failure to show compassion
  • Lack of listening
  • Not putting in effort towards the marriage

Does your husband lack compassion? Fail to help out with chores?
Leave a comment I would love to hear from you. Click on the title and scroll to the bottom of the post.  Hope to chat soon!

With Love Always,

Melissa

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A Fulfilling Family Day At Texas!

 

My father in law just turned 79. I can’t believe it how fast time goes by. It seems like yesterday we were celebrating his 70th birthday. Since it was a monumental birthday we decided to go all out and celebrate his Birthday at Texas De Brazil!  We enjoyed the experience so much that I couldn’t wait to share it with ya’ll.

Texas De Brazil is a unique upscale Brazilin steakhouse that serves food in a rodizio style. You may ask what in the heck is rodizio style eating? Rodizio style eating is when meat is brought to you on hot skewers, then sliced right in front of you. This particular style of eating is mostly found in Latin America. You do not order your food from a menu; you just pay a flat fee and eat all that you can. Make sure you wear an elastic waist band because you will need it.
I was impressed with extensive beverage choices. You could choose from countless  Brazilian drinks and wines. They have a very elaborate selection of red wines that will pair perfectly with your meat choices.

Matt and I fat and happy at Texas De Brazil

Once you order your drink the next stop is the salad and side bar. On the side bar you could  choose from , rice, beans, fish, potato salad, and my favorite au gratin potatoes. I am not an au gratin potato kind’ve gal but when you go to Texas De Brazil, do me a favor and try them. They are amazing!


The salad bar was very yummy also. There you could find the normal stuff but they also had some unique items to choose from. I particularly enjoyed the fried provolone cheese. They also had the heart of palm and some other unique choices for the food adventurers. By the way you can’t miss the lavish floral arrangements either, they are gorgeous!
After you get set up with your drinks, salad and sides, here’s how you stuff your pie hole Rodizio style. At your place setting you will have a round card. On one side it will be green and the other side will be red. Once you are ready to start to eat turn your card to the green side. In no time a server will be at your side with a huge meat skewer filled  with mouth watering meat choices. My favorite meat choice was the chicken wrapped in bacon. But you can choose from lamb, pork, chicken, sausage and steak. Once you turn your card to the green side… it’s on. You will be served continuously with mouth watering meats until you turn the card back over to red.


Last but certainly not least. Once you are finished with your meal you can end with a satisfying dessert.

I will tell you that they are all mouth watering. My sister and brother in law got the Crème Brule, my mother in law tried the key lime pie and they loved every bite. I am a chocoholic so it was a no brainer that my husband and I split the chocolate mousse cake. The cake was delish, definitely a win!

Our chocolate mousse cake

Texas De Brazil steakhouse is a much different experience than I have ever had in my life, I absolutely loved it! The unique style of eating was fun and very enjoyable.The staff was very hospitable and timely with all of our requests. We had a table of 14 and frankly that didn’t seem to faze them.

Texas De Brazil has several locations to find one near you click here.

Make your special event a day to remember with Texas De Brazil.  Book with them  today!

You can also get your event catered and order take out!

Eating at Texas De Brazil is whole new eating experience that you must try!

I want to hear what you have to say. Click on the title and scroll down to leave a comment.

With Love Always,

Melissa

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Fun Indoor Activities For Children

I despise being cooped up in the house,I get major cabin fever. If the children are in the house too much they start going bananas. One minute they are playing tag in doors and the next they are knocking over the lamp. Children can really be unruly, unless you have activities for them to do. The trick to keeping your home calm when you have to stay in doors is keeping the little hands busy. Read below for fun ways to keep them engaged and from climbing the curtains.

String Noodles

 

I am sure that you have some noodles and shoe laces laying around. Children love to string stuff. They can make noodle bracelets and necklaces.

Make  Playdoh:

I have included my cook playdoh recipe. This is the best recipe that I have found. The play doh is soft and it stays good for a long time. It costs only a few bucks to make and 5 minutes to cook. I store mine in an airtight container and it lasts months. The playdoh is safe because it is made with all food products. I wouldn’t encourage eating it but if your toddler does at least you know that it’s safe. My boys enjoy playing with the playdoh the most when it is freshly cooked and warm to the touch.

To make it  you will need: food coloring, flour, cream of tartar, salt, and oil

2 Cups of flour

2 Tbsp. of oil. I use vegetable

1/2 cup of salt

2tbsp of  Cream of Tarter

1 1/2 water

First thing that you need to do is boil your water in the pan. After it begins to boil, add the food coloring. You can add as much or as little color as you want. You can even create your own color! Then you turn off the heat. Next  mix the cream of tarter , salt, flour, and oil in a bowl. Once the mixture is mixed well then pour it into the pan of water. The mixure will harden quick and it could burn. To prevent the play doh from burning stir quickly. Within a few minutes the flour will turn in to your playdoh ball. Once the playdoh is cooled to the touch,enjoy!

Tip: You can also use gel food coloring. To make the playdoh, do everything the same EXCEPT don’t add the color to the water. Instead make the doh with out color then once the doh is cooled add the color drop by drop to the white playdoh ball. Once you have added the color kneed the play doh. The food coloring stains so use gloves.

Iceplay

This activity has kept both of my boys entertained for the longest amount of time. They will literally play until the ice melts. My boys love to use a spoon to pick up the ice and drop the ice into a container.The school age children like using tongs to pick up the ice too. If you have artic animals you can even add them to the ice to make it more fun.

Corn Starch and water

 

I cant really give exact measurements on this one. Basically I fill the bottom of a plastic bin with cornstarch. Next put enough water overtop the cornstarch to cover it . You will have a white watery liquid. On the  bottom of the bowl there will be a solid soft layer that is the layer that the children will pick up. The cool thing about this project is that the solid layer liquefies with in seconds. This project will make a huge mess but don’t fret! The liquid dry’s and turns into a powder for easy clean up.

 

Scavenger hunt

My gift to you today is the free scavenger hunt download. This activity will keep them busy for a bit. The children can mark off each object  they find. I also have a downloadable hunt that they can draw in the picture of the object named and then mark it off. Download the mark off hunt here! Download the draw the object hunt here! Enjoy!

 

Being cooped up stinks and can be very trying with little ones. Remember to keep them busy. Keeping children busy  is a lot of work on you but it will pay off in the long run.You will notice that by keeping your children busy that you will have  less fighting, nagging, complaining, and whining.

By keeping you’re children busy they will have fun and learn at the same time. Which will make your day a whole lot more enjoyable!!

With Love Always,

Melissa

What project do you like the best?

Let me know. To comment click on the post title and scroll to the bottom. I know it sucks but I cant seem to get the commenting fixed. blahhh

 

 

 

 

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3 Neat Non-Traditional Ways To Play In The Snow!

 

It’s a blistering hot day today here on the east coast. The temp outside right now is a steaming hot , whole 18 degree’s.  We have gotten about 6 inches of the white stuff so far, and it’s still snowing. My younger boys woke up at 7 am this morning singing Frosty The Snowman while peering out of the window. They were so cute while singing. They had their little noses smashed to the cold glass while blasting out their tunes. The excitement was beaming from their little eyes, they could not wait to go out and play. Both of them shoved their breakfast down their cute little cheeky poos as fast as they could and ran outside.

In the past few years we have been lucky enough to get a good snowfall or two. Snow is defiantly not my favorite but putting my self aside, I wanted them to get most out of their snow play.  Check out these 3 neat non-traditional ways to play in the snow.

We mixed about 1/2 cup of vinegar with 6 drops of red food coloring , 3 tablespoons of baking soda and poured it inside of our snowcano. The boys loved this, I think that it was their favorite.

Glitter snow making was fun! The gold showed up well. Life is always better when you add a little SPARKLE!

We used an eye dropper to put food coloring on snow and that was pretty cool. The children can learn about mixing colors, aaaaand they are also using their fine motors skills to use the eye dropper. frankly its neato.

Well I am going to get back to freezing my butt off and do some more playing in the snow. My older boys are wanting to play lazer tag later. Hmmm. Snow lazer tag that should be interesting.

Hey! I love to hear from my readers. To post a comment click on the title and scroll to the bottom of the post. Thanks

 

With love always,

Melissa

 

 

 

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Our Wild Adventure With Painting Using Nature As Our Brush

The weather was abnormally nice today for a January day. With that being said I decided to take our homeschooling outside. I had cabin fever and I absolutely looooooove feeling the warm sun on my face.

Speaking of sun, did you know that  sunlight gives us a natural vitamin that we all need?  Check out this link to learn all about Vitamin D, why we need it, and how to obtain it.

I decided that it would be a good day to paint and soak up some Vitamin D. So I gathered 3 washable non toxic paint colors , paper, and headed outside. Notice I didn’t include bringing paint brushes. We used nature as our brush.
As we trotted outside we spotted our neighbors and they jumped in on the fun.

Some of the items that the children picked to paint with were, pine cones, branches, pine needles, leaves, sticks, and even a rock. The children had a blast; they especially seemed to enjoy watching what print each object made on the paper.
Personally I thought that this project was going to be limited to paper but, with children comes creative little minds. The painting with nature took a major turn and they began to paint our TREES! Ahh…. I thought as I ran to stop them, but I saw how much fun they were having. The teacher in me let them do it, well at least that is my excuse when my husband comes home tonight.

I enjoyed watching the smiles on their faces when they saw their little  handprints on the trees. Stanley especially enjoyed painting the limbs blue. I feel like our yard now looks like something from the movie Alice and Wonderland.

Anthony was totally not interested in painting on the paper but when he saw Stanley painting on the tree’s he decided to  jump right  in.

 

After awhile of painting I knew that nap time was coming soon  and the play was over when Anthony ran to my car to paint it.  lol

Outside play is important, but do you realize really how important it is? Not only do children want to play outside but they actually need it.

Take a peek at my blog post about why playing outside is important for your child’s development.

Well I hope that you enjoyed this post! I would love to hear from you please comment by clicking on the title then scroll down.

With Love Always,
Melissa

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Playing Outside Is Important For Your Childs Development

When I was a child I remember playing outside from morning till night. A vivid memory I have was racing my brother on bikes. My bike was lavender had a pink flowered basket on the front. In the basket sat my little gray tabby cat Jasper. Jasper was no ordinary cat; he was a very patient cat. He put up with me dressing and undressing him several times a day. I always wanted a sister and never had one, so poor Jasper took the brunt of sported dresses and bonnets. This day was no different and he was wearing a dress with a cute bonnet while sitting in my basket. My brother and I raced up and down the street several times but then he quickly turned into our driveway. Following, I turned as well, but I was going too fast for the turn and ran right into our mail box, face first. I flew and so did Jasper, dress, bonnet, and all. Thankfully we were okay but that is one painful memory that I will never forget! To me I was a kid playing but all the while I was actually learning. I was using my gross motor skills to ride my bike and I learned cause and effect…when I slammed into the mailbox. Below are some reasons why playing outside is important for your child’s development.

Increases attention span
This day and age children are having way too much screen time. They are continuously having lights flickering in front of their faces decreasing their attention span at rapid rates. However, playing outside seems to have the opposite effect and increases the attention span, because children are then forced to watch things less interesting to them. They have to wait for something to happen. Let’s just say my son is watching a bunny hop in the yard, generally the bunny will hop much slower than the rate of a letters being keyed on a computer screen. So he has to wait for the bunny to take the next hop, therefore unknowingly his attention span is increasing little by little. Having a longer attention span definitely helps with completing school work and everyday tasks.

They get exercise
I think that we can all agree that childhood obesity is a big deal these days. Children are moving less or barely moving at all. They are watching screens for hours upon hours and sitting motionless. When children play outside they are definitely moving more than what they would be if they were in front of the TV.

Develop gross motor skills
When children are outside they are running, jumping, walking, hoping, skipping, pushing, pulling and throwing- all of which are gross motor skills. Gross motor skills are important for sports playing and development. Gross motor skills help build muscles that your child will need as an adult.

Encourages balance and coordination
Riding bikes, playing hopscotch, jumping rope may all seem like boring games but they are all equally important. Each activity requires your child to balance and have coordination. Both of which your child will need in the future. Think about it for a second; if your child wants to be cheerleaders, guess what? they will have to master both balance and coordination. How about if they want to play a sport, yes they will need to be coordinated. What if they want to play and instrument in the school’s marching band they will need both balance and coordination. They will need to have a good since of balance to march and coordination to play the instrument while marching.

Learn cause and effect
When children play outside they are learning cause and effect. For instance if a child throws a ball too hard it will go farther and may hit a tree. Ok so what? you may ask. But the same skill is needed for a teen driving if your child pushes on the gas pedal too hard the car will go too fast and then it may hit the car in front of them. The child needs to learn that pushing the pedal too hard makes the car go too fast. Just as they need to learn that if they throw a ball too hard it will go further and hit a tree.

Playing outside is very important for your child’s development. One of my New Year’s resolutions is to get more outside play in our schedule. One of my son’s favorite new toys that he got for Christmas was the Pure Fun Rocker Seesaw. We purchased this toy from Amazon.

I love this toy because it entertains up to 3 children at once. Also, My son can use the toy alone by rocking in the middle. The toy has a broad age from 4 – 10 years old. Personally I think that the age is more for like 4- 8 years old but still that’s 4 years of use. It is built very sturdy and the colors are beautiful. The toy helps my son to learn coordination by developing his rocking skills. He is also learning how to push and pull when rocking by himself. My husband and teenage son put the rocker together in about a 1 hour using the information video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BI6PL6P5oz0.

Pure fun is the home to other great outdoor products such as slides, trampolines, and swivel see saws.

This post was not paid by Pure Fun. We just love this toy and wanted to let everyone know how great it is.

Would love to hear from you. To comment please click on the title of the post and scroll down.
With love,
Melissa

 

 

 

 

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5 simple steps to lose baby weight…

Disclaimer: Always check with your doctor first before you begin a new exercise routine.

I have four boys and with each one of my pregnancies I dreamt of only gaining the golden number of 25lbs. of course that was only a dream because I blew up. As soon as my body heard the word pregnant, I automatically gained 10 lbs in the first 2 months. In the end, I gained over 35 lbs with each of my boys. With my oldest son I even gained a whopping 70 lbs and went up 8 pants sizes. Yes I will give you permission to mooo at me.

The New Year is coming and for a lot of you losing the post partum weight is going to be a new year resolution. I want to share with you How I lost all of my baby weight  5 simple steps!  You don’t even need to purchase a program or meal plan. Sounds too good to be true? We honey bunny it’s not, I did it and so can you.

First of all if  you are a new mom, please enjoy your baby first and don’t put too much pressure on yourself to lose the weight. Being a new parent is stressful enough so relax and enjoy your new baby. Secondly if you are breastfeeding don’t stress about losing the weight. Stress can cause  you to lose  your milk supply. So no stressing out, okay?Just know that you will eventually lose the weight and look amazing.

Next, no matter if you are 1 month post partum or 5 years post partum rock that post partum body.  Without it you would not have your beautiful blessing that God gave you. In order to stick to your weight loss goals it is very important that you have a confidence in yourself and that you know that you can do this. If you do not  start off with the right frame of mind you could become overwhelmed, freaked out and back slide.

What I want you to do right now is.. say to yourself “  I can do this”. Say it loud and proud and know that you can accomplish your dream weight goals!

Another method that I like to use is to think of the pant size that I want to be in next. So if I am a 12 then I think of what I need to do to get to a size 10.  To go down one pant size generally you need to lose between 5-8 lbs. It’s mentally easier to think of loosing 5 lbs rather than 40 lbs.

So to get the nit grit here’s how I lost my weight with each child.

1.       Move more eat less: Simply said and simply done. Pump up your physical activity if you don’t walk at all then get moving. The more you move the more calories you burn. I didn’t have the money or time to go to the gym so I would walk up and down my steps during the day. Or I would walk laps around my house. You don’t have to physically go to the gym or park you can do simple things at home to just move more. Personally I get 25 minutes of extra movement 4 days a week or at least try to. I would love to work out longer but let’s be real I simply do not have that majic word called “time”. In my opinion something is better than nothing.

2.       Make your portions smaller: look at the actual portion sizes on the packaging of products and follow them. You don’t need to intake as much food as you think. To help with portion control use smaller plates and bowls. I like to use my children’s bowls and plates. Important mental note, do not deprive yourself completely of  your comfort food. My weakness is sweets, if I gave them up totally  I would be cranky and unhappy and if mama isn’t happy no one is. I still eat my sweets daily but I have 1 cookie or a few Hershey kisses. Just cut your portions in half of what you would normally eat.

3. Eat breakfast: Get your metabolism working and eat breakfast in the morning. I never ever skip a meal especially breakfast.

4. Eat frequently: to avoid over eating due to hunger and to keep your metabolism running eat small meals more frequently. I am never starving because I am always eating.

Here is my eating schedule

Breakfast 8:00

Lunch 11:30

Snack: 3:00

Dinner: 6:30

5.       Swap out some foods: You can really save on calories without making huge changes. For instance swap mustard instead of mayo. Mustard has less calories and fat. Eat a half sandwich instead of a whole. Grab fruit or nuts for snack instead of a bag of chips.

Loosing weight is one of the hardest things to accomplish ,but it doesn’t have to be agonizing just following these 5 simple steps you will get where you dream to be.

Happy new pants shopping 🙂 because your weight will come off!

Let me know what you think of this post. I do check my comments frequently and would love to hear your feedback! To comment click on the title and scroll down to the bottom of the post.

With Love Always,

Melissa

 

 

 

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Why We Did Not Put Our Son In Public school

I am a homeschooling parent of four boys. I wasn’t always a homeschooling parent though, my older two boys went to public school for years before we chose to home school them. When my two older boys were in public school, I had to work so I did not have the liberty to choose how my children were educated.  Now I am blessed to be able to choose a different type of education for them. Here are some of the reasons why we chose to take our two older children out of public school as well as home school our younger children.

Did you know there are seven different ways people can learn? Well, I sure had no idea until my son was behind in reading and math. Despite going to school every day and doing extra reading and math at home somehow he was still lagging behind. My son had no learning impediments and there was no reason in my mind why he would be behind. So what did I do? I dug and dug for answers until I found out there are seven different ways to learn. My son is a kinesthetic learner which means that he is a hands on learning type of guy. He needs to use his hands and body to learn. He was behind in reading and math because he wasn’t being taught the best way for him to learn. For some children learning traditionally through text books is fine and they excel, but for those who are physical learners they often don’t do well. My son just needed a new learning style to get him up to speed. So I brought him home and began to teach using his learning style. Now he is right where he needs to be. As a matter of fact he builds and programs robots for competitions. One day he hopes to be an engineer. He just needed a different learning style and viola he blossomed!

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My son working on his robot during a competition 2016

Once I realized my son needed to learn differently in order to do as well as he could, I noticed that the public school could not accommodate different learning styles. At the time they did not test the children for their learning style and were not able to teach according to each student’s learning style. For me this was a major problem. I knew my son would not do well in a traditional school setting.

Homeschooling also gives you the opportunity to expand education through your child’s interests. Let’s say for example that your child loves learning about the planets then why not take that interest and go with it.  In addition to reading the material in the science text book you can cultivate that interest by getting more books from the library, watching youtube videos, or spending the day at the local science center. Homeschooling gives you the TIME to be able to do these things.

Think about yourself for a second, if you read something that interests you, you want to learn more about the subject right? Children are the same way and that’s how they gain their knowledge. Learning then becomes more fun and exciting when they learn about what interests them.

Another reason why we home school is that we have complete control over what our children learn. I can choose the books and the teaching styles that work best for my family. Personally we choose faith based books from companies such as Apologia, Abeka or Seton.

Testing is a major deal these days and the schools prepare children right from the start. Just for the record I have no problem with testing. I give my children tests frequently, but I think they were learning only what was going to be on the “big test.”  My children were stressed and worried about their test score when testing time came. I saw the anxiety build in my children leading up to the testing dates and frankly it wasn’t worth it to me. My  son got stomach aches because he was so nervous on testing day. One of my boys even received the Presidential Award for academic excellence for having a high test score that year in the school. With that being said, the anxiety that I saw in my children really tugged on my heart strings. I was saddened that they had to endure such stress over a test.

My boys love being able to take tests at home at their own pace. They can spend 30 min on a test or an entire afternoon. They can eat snacks, chew gum or whatever all that matters is that they know the information and do their best. Their testing anxiety is now a thing of the past.

Homeschooling offers major flexibility. For us we like to take our family vacations at the beach during the off season when it’s cheaper. But those times are when the children are in school. Homeschooling gives my family complete flexibility to vacation whenever and wherever we want. Flexibility is also great around the holidays too. You can take shorter schooling days if needed and then do a few longer days, or even do weekends after the holidays pass to compensate for time lost.

Bullying is such an issue these days. Children can just be mean to others for absolutely no reason at all. When you home school you have less bullying. You still will have some at co-ops, but not nearly as much.

Lastly but certainly not least homeschooling has given me the opportunity to teach my children in many areas of life which is something that I didn’t even think about when we were considering homeschooling.

I cook and fix things around the house with them all the while teaching them as we do it. I have the opportunity to spend more time with them to direct them in life. We spend time talking about making positive choices in life regarding friends and relationships.

Homeschooling my children has been such a blessing to me. A blessing that I had no idea would come. I have developed a stronger relationship with my children as a result. A relationship that I hold close to my heart because I know that one day in a blink of an eye they will be grown up and their youth will be just a cherished memory of the best days of my life.

 

With Love Always,

Melissa

Do you homeschool? Are you on the fence about homeschooling? What do you think of my post? Please leave a comment by clicking on the title and scrolling to the bottom of the article.

I check my comments daily and look forward to hearing from you.

 

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Failed epically as a parent, should I apologize to my child?

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The pressure to be a “perfect parent” is more evident now than ever. Just think about the social media accounts that you frequent. What type of pictures do you see? Generally you will be flooded with happy family pictures. Let’s be real for a minute–families are not always happy. Unfortunately sometimes parents don’t always use the best judgment when parenting.  Have you ever had a day when you felt like you failed epically as a parent?

What I consider a parenting flaw on my part isn’t what others see as a flaw and vise versa. We all have different perceptions about what good parenting is and what a good life for our children is. Whether we like to face the truth or not the fact is that all parents fail in one way or another.

What we do to fail as a parent is extremely significant, but how we handle our mistake is just as important. Our children are our future generation and it is our job as parents to help in their formation into adulthood. With this being said how do you want your children to handle a mistake on their part? Do you want your child to blame someone else for their mistake? or take responsibility for it? Furthermore do you want your child to just ignore the mistake that they made? or own up to it and try to correct the problem?

Children are very impressionable and watch our every move. If you want your children to be apologetic when they make a mistake then you must model that behavior. You can’t just expect that one day your child will apologize for things that they have done wrong to others if they were not taught to do so. It doesn’t work that way–sorry. Parents teach their children and the children will develop behaviors based on what they were taught as a child.

If you make a mistake parenting then why not sit your children down and apologize to them? Many say that apologizing to your child is ridiculous. People think that it makes parents look weak and that parents will lose authority. That theory is not true at all. It is always harder to do the right thing. It takes a much stronger person to admit that they did something wrong. Lastly, parents do have authority but we are also teachers. It is our job to teach our children.

Children also deserve to be shown respect–just as we desire to be respected. Respect from a child cannot be demanded but earned. By apologizing to your child not only are you showing them respect, but in return you are earning yours.

It is our job to teach our children that doing the right thing is often the hardest thing to do. The next time that you think that you failed as a parent think about how you want your child to grow up. How do you want your child to handle a mistake? and then be the bigger person and model that behavior for your child.

 

With the most love,

Melissa

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What do you think? do you apologize to your children if you make a mistake?

Leave a comment by clicking the title of the post and scrolling to the bottom of the post. I check my comments daily and would love to hear from you!

 

 

 

 

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Parenting Your “Adult” Child

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PIXABAY

Time sure flies. It seems as if it was just yesterday when my oldest son was playing with little GI Joe figures on my living room floor. I truly miss those days and now I catch myself hiding my tears of sadness as he slowly creates his own life. I am happy for him, don’t get me wrong, it’s great to see him follow his dreams and begin to find his way in life. I can’t lie though and say that it’s not hard.  The day that your child turns 18 and looks at you right in the eye and says, “Mom I am grown now, you did your job raising me and now you are done. Thank you.” Really, I think to myself, all done this quick.

Parenting is not done once your child hits the magical number of 18. Just think of all the times that you have needed your parents after you hit adulthood. Some parents may wash their hands with parenting at this age and simply give up. The children also think that our job as parents is done. As for me, however, I think that it is important to continue helping them in life by encourage positive decision making as they mature. This includes helping them choose and achieve certain goals for themselves.

For this reason I decided to take my 18 year old son out to lunch one day. Little did he know it was a parenting meeting. I had to sneak the parenting part in during lunch. I did ask him to bring paper and a pen so maybe he wasn’t too surprised.  We had Mexican food and enjoyed each other’s company. We spoke about how life was going with him working and going to college, girls and the other stuff. I purposely waited until the very end of lunch to have my parenting chat. I wanted him to know that lunch was about me being interested in him and his life first.

 As a parent nothing makes you happier than seeing your children do well. I want my son to achieve his dreams and accomplish his goals. I want him to keep him morals and values during hard times. I try to keep the focus on him because parenting isn’t all about the parent. This idea that parenting isn’t all about the parent took me a while to really comprehend and put into action. I finally came to grips with the idea that in order for me to help my child in life I needed to know what mattered to him. I needed to know his goals, his dreams, his morals, the things that he values, and the people that encourage him. With that being said I took my son’s paper and pen and wrote this:

 

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What are your major goals in life?

1.

2.

3.

Steps to achieving them:

1.

2.

3.

What are your 5 years goals?

1.

2.

3.

Steps to achieving them:

1.

2.

3.

What are your 2 year goals?

1.

2.

3.

Steps to achieving them

1.

2.

3.

Who encourages you?

1.

2.

3.

Give a quote that inspires you:

1.

 

Morals and values that you want to uphold:

1.

2.

3.

 

 My list looked something like that and I had him fill it out. Now there is a reason why I did not allow him to make this list on his phone—I had him post this list in his room in plain sight. I want this list to be a visual reminder of what he wants out of life and how he can achieve things that are important to him. Secondly, how can I help him achieve his dreams if I don’t even know what they are? Finally, it is great to have goals but it is important for parents to help their children come up with realistic ways to achieve these goals. A goal without a plan for attaining it is pointless.

Parenting into adulthood is one of the most important things that we parents can do to help our children become the people they want to be. We do have to keep in mind that they make their own decisions. With that being said it doesn’t mean that we just throw our hands up and stop being their parent. Encourage your children to make positive decisions and set realistic goals. Find out who your child is and what kind of person they want to be. Gently parent them with love and support as they grow and mature.

With love always,

Melissa

 What do you think about this post? Did you still need your parents after you moved out of the house? Leave a comment by clicking on the title of the post and scrolling to the bottom of the post. I check my comments daily and would love to hear your input!

 

 

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